Race morning, we got there early and made the walk from transition to the swim in the dark. My parents were there. I held my mom’s arm most of the walk, as it was pretty dark and she wanted to watch her footing. It may sound cheesy, but it was very calming. I realized how fortunate I was to have my parents there; as they have been for 36 years; that through all the ups and downs, life was good. I did a warm up jog with some fast efforts to get my heart rate up and listened to some music (one song being AC/DC Back in Black…LOVE that song). I got into the water and warmed up for about 10 minutes. Finally we were off.
I started the swim conservatively. Truth be told I’ve had some shitty swims so far this year. I eased in and tried to build into it. By the first turn buoy, I had caught a small pack of yellow caps (women). As we made our way towards the canal, I caught a group of men. I settled in nicely, thinking “Cool, I caught some dudes. I must be swimming well,” and I was very comfortable. Then I said, “Snap to, Kelly. You’re in a race. This could be a third pack of guys! Pick it up!” Into the canal, I decided to push up to the front and I led the pack in; just feeling so smooth. One of the best parts of this swim is seeing all the people lining the canal. Swim exit and I was told I was first woman; yes! A good start to the day! Thanks Zoot for the Z Force sleeveless; PERFECT for a warm wetsuit swim; good mobility and not too thick.
Onto the new Felt DA and I got to work. I eased in and truthfully did not feel fantastic the first 20-30 miles. I was passed by a couple of women but I just stayed on my pacing, my effort, and my race. I didn’t panic at all when a few women drifted off into the distance. I continued to eat (I am an eating machine when I race, as I packed in just under 2000 calories, mostly PowerBar gels and some drink on the bike alone) and just let the miles clip away. The winds were shifty and pretty constant. I only recall one stretch, about miles 60-65 when we had a truly strong tail wind. I tried to lighten the effort, stay small and take advantage of the speed here. Come to find out, I was getting stronger as I went (which we saw via my SRM power file). I managed to re-catch a few women the final 30 miles. I came into T2 and while the legs felt awful immediately, by the time I ran in and grabbed my T2 bag, they were already coming around.
I was told 2nd woman in the transition tent to which I replied “2nd? Seriously? Holy shit!” I had expected 4th or 5th, so it was a welcome surprise! So much so that I busted out of there at 6 minute pace. For not one, but 2 miles. I told myself that would not end well, and forced a slowdown. Mile 3 was 6:15, not quite there yet. Mile 4 was in range of 6:33. Better. By this point, I tried to ignore the watch and focus on just finding a rhythm. I was feeling so strong, so relaxed, so in control. I wore the Zoot TT 7’s without socks and while my feet started to hurt later in the race (what marathon wouldn’t this happen in), I was amazed to never get a single blister. I came through the first loop and was told the 8 minute gap was now 5 minutes. Quick math told me at this rate, I would catch her right before the finish line. However, sitting in 2nd place, I simply held my effort. I never again looked at the watch and my only goal was to stay consistent and keep taking my gels; if I caught her, all the better. It was a nice boost at about mile 16/17 when I could see her only about a minute up. I finally made the pass, told Julia nice job, and just tried to remain steady. The only low, low point I approached was about mile 19/20 when I started to feel a bit sick. I quickly took a salt tab and followed it with some cola and it seemed to turn me around. By this point, the goal was just to hold on but not to assume it was in the bag, nor think about the end result until I saw Mile 25. There is not much place for emotion in Ironman racing; not until that finish line is in your sight. I find it sucks your energy, both mentally and physically.
I have to say the most amazing part of the day was when I finally saw the chute, and moreso, the clock. I had no clue that I was going to go under 9 hrs, much less an 8:54. The emotions that ran through me were intense. Relief, amazement, elation, and extreme joy are just a few ways to describe it. To see my husband Derick there right after the tape was so awesome. He has seen the struggles the past few months, and it was only fitting to share the excitement with him. Then he told me I ran a 2:54 and again, total shock…while I knew I was capable of this, I never knew if I would ever actually DO it… it was so humbling to see that I had.
No matter what level you get to in sport, a few things remain the same for all. We have highs and we have lows. Sometimes our confidence soars, and at other times we are full of doubt. For me, some of those doubts were actually fears. Was I truly ‘done’? Had I really fulfilled my potential in 2012? Did I still have the passion to be ‘great’, one of the bests? The doubts that I had the past 4 months were massive. Sometimes, in the midst of the really low lows, I just laugh… it helps ease the sting and it also brings me back to reality, that there is only so much we can control. It took so much mental strength to try to quiet the doubts and push forward, knowing no matter what happened, I had put myself out there, gone fully ‘in’, accepted vulnerability, and approached things with no regrets. These breakthroughs are the ones we dream of that get us through all of the low moments. I won’t sit here and say “Anything is Possible”… again some things will happen, some will not, and it takes a hell of a lot of physical and mental preparation to make things come to fruition. But sometimes we have to let go of trying to ‘control’ and embrace the process. What I will take away from this race is the power of continuing to believe in yourself when perhaps others may not…and the power of accepting that to achieve something great, you have got to put yourself on the line, be vulnerable, and take risk. In this case, it came down to accepting where I was, adapting to the situation, and ultimately overcoming so much. Suffice to say, the passion is still fully there, and I guess that I am not quite yet washed up!